This morning was a rough one. I usually wake up with Robby at 5:30 and let Mary sleep in with Ben since she is up with him throughout the night. Today Robby decided he would wake up a little earlier than usual. He started crying for us at 5am sharp.

So, what should I do?

A - Let Robby cry and hope that after a few minutes he will realize that it is too early and fall back asleep.

B - Go in and tell Robby it is too early and that he must go back to bed.

C - Go in and rescue Robby by saving him from his crib and bringing him downstairs where he can play and have breakfast.

This is my life nowadays, trying to make sense of the mind of a two year old. So, what did I do?

I started off with (A) hoping that after a few minutes he would quiet down and go back to sleep. Five, ten, fifteen, twenty minutes later I broke down. I can't believe I let him cry that long. By that time I felt so guilty (does this make me a bad parent?) that I decided to go with (B).

So, I go to his room, and there he is standing in the corner of his crib closest to the door reaching for me, tears pouring down his cheeks, saying "hold me, hold me." Sometimes I wonder... Isn't he just doing what every adult really wants to do? Where do we go wrong as adults? When is it that we lose our ability to reflexively express our emotions? Anyhow, I could not help it. I went over and hugged him. I knew going in there that I should not touch him, because I wouldn't be able to let go. But, I held him anyway. The first thing I remember was his tears against my cheek. His pajamas were even wet with tears. I felt so bad about just letting him cry. So (C) I rescued him.

Things went downhill from there. In the morning I have three things I must get done before 7:30:

1 - Feed Robby breakfast/iron/vitamin
2 - Change Robby's diaper/clothes for the day
3 - Take a shower and get ready for work

This morning I made Robby blueberry pancakes. He asked me for juice and pancakes as we were coming downstairs. But, of course after I make them, he takes one bite and says "all done!"

Egads!

So, I try to change his diaper and clothes. First step is taking off his pajamas. When I told him it is time for a diaper change and that he has to take off his pajamas his first reaction was "No!" He is now at this age where he wants to do everything himself. So, when I reached for his zipper to try and unzip his pajamas and he said "No!" (again) and pulled away. I said, "OK, Robby do it?" and he started to unzip his pajamas. What might seem like an easy thing to do (taking off pajamas) is not so easy for a two year old. It took him about five minutes to get his pajamas fully off. So, then I put him up on the changing table and changed his diaper. He usually asks to see his dirty diaper to see what it looks like, so I showed him and then put on a new dry one.

It wasn't til I got to trying to put on his pants when everything went wrong. I started to put them on when he said "NO!" This no was a little louder than the first two. He started squirming every time I tried to pull the pants over his feet. Then he said, "No!No!No!No!" At this point it is past 7 o'clock and we are way behind schedule. So, in a stern voice I said "Robby Listen, you need to wear your pants!"

So, now he cries. He cries and cries and tears are flowing and I am forcing pants on a squirming, crying miserable two year old. And I feel awful.

If I could do this again, what would I do different?